Lodging a Complaint

Dear Auntie Belle,

I agreed (reluctantly) to join a group of "poets" (whom I met online)at a picturesque lodge/retreat in Ohio for five fun-filled days of food and conversation. Everything was going quite well until one of the bastards pulled me aside and asked, "Hey buddy, you wanna see where the camel bit me?" I'm afraid I may have reacted badly as he began to drop his pants.

Was I correct to punch him in the throat? He was about to show me his wiener, right?

Signed,

Lodging a Complaint

Dear Lodging,

Right. He was. You missed a great opportunity though; you could have been his fluffer for the 'fun-filled' event. You won't convince anyone that your 'retreat' wasn't an orgy. There was a hot tub, I'd guess - and karaoke? An orgy with internet strangers requires both. I'd guess what there was NOT was poetry reading or writing or innocent games such as Scrabble! And don't you dare say you had a marshmallow roast or made smores! LIAR!

Auntie Belle