Riding Three Saddles in Texas

Dear Auntie,
My third wife is in labor again and my second wife has to be kept out of the room (seems she has been swiping the pruning shears with a mind to perform a 42 week abortion again) and I don't know what to do with her.

Why can't a bigamist get a divorce?

Riding Three Saddles in Texas

Dear Riding,
A bigamist CAN get a divorce. The ceremony requires you run naked three times around the county courthouse while screaming, 'I Divorce you, (insert name)' at the top of your lungs. To be legal, the ceremony must be done at exactly 12-noon every day for one year. Let me know how that works out for you.

Auntie Belle

PS I forgot the most important part: The wife must be tied, also naked, to your back while performing the bigamist's divorce.